Alimony provides a valuable financial bridge for a financially disadvantaged spouse after divorce, but that bridge eventually ends for most people. In North Carolina, the law says payments may stop if a dependent spouse remarries or starts cohabiting. While this might seem straightforward, confusion can arise, particularly in the modern dating era.
For instance, if your ex is in a “situationship”, you should know if and when this arrangement can impact your alimony obligation.
Decoding the modern situationship
Many people now find themselves in a “situationship,” a romantic connection that lacks a formal label but involves meaningful emotional and physical closeness. Parties in these arrangements typically spend a lot of time together, including overnights.
But is this cohabitation?
Our state law defines cohabitation as two adults dwelling together continuously and habitually in a private relationship resembling marriage. This is a higher bar than simply spending a few nights a week at a partner’s house. A judge looks for the “assumption of marital rights and duties,” meaning the couple acts as if they are married in their daily routines and responsibilities.
Tracking modern household ties
Proving that a dependent spouse has moved in with their situationship partner, and is therefore cohabitating, can ultimately lead to a termination of alimony. However, because a situationship is defined by its indefinability, this can be quite tricky. Some indications of cohabitation might include:
- Shared finances, such as joint grocery delivery accounts or utilities
- Social media posts that show the couple hosting family events or holidays together
- Consistent performance of household chores, such as lawn care or laundry
- Whether they keep clothes/personal items at a residence
- Receipt of mail at the same address
No single factor proves cohabitation, but these details together help demonstrate that the couple has moved past casual dating into a functional, integrated household.
Focusing on the big picture
The supporting spouse must show the court that this new relationship is stable and continuous. Since there is no single rule that defines a shared home, judges review the entire situation to make a fair decision.
That said, it is essential to proceed with caution if you are in this position. Crossing a line in to try and gather proof can lead to allegations of stalking, harassment or fraud. To ensure this does not happen, you can speak with your attorney to determine legitimate methods of seeking to modify or terminate alimony.